the perfect saturday

well this weekend was just marvelous...it was low key, full of catching up with my besties, beautiful scenery, great convo, loads of love and some vino! one of my best friends came down from boston for some much needed "tripod" catching up (there are 3 of us, so we're like a tripod...get it?). we had big plans for a big weekend of catching up, drinking, and partying; we caught up...1 out of 3 ain't bad right? we didn't fail at tackling the three by choice, we really tried hard; we got decked out, hit the town, had a few sips of wine at dinner and called it a night...we tried. saturday we woke up to breakfast in bed by the boyfriend, damn he's good! it was super legit too; homemade stuffed french toast from scratch with strawberries and whipped cream. around 11 am the tripod headed out for a much needed catch up date and it was perfection. side note, life gets busy and 2 of us live in nyc while the other is in boston so it's not everyday we get to sit down together. but we make it our mission to meet up as much as we can and when we do we pick up right where we left off and spend hours (no exaggeration) on filling each other in on literally everything! and after we were done catching up the boyfriends met us and it was so amazing watching them bond because well...they're stuck with us. "if you wanna be my lover you gotta get with my friends".

this time i chose our date spot and not to toot my horn it was a freaking perfect. we went to wave hill a real life "secret garden" right in my backyard here in the riverdale section of the bronx; it is what i imagine heaven to look and feel like. you couldn't even imagine experiencing the beauty and tranquility that wave hill provides so your guaranteed to be blown away if you visit. there are gardens on top of gardens hidden between secret trails and behind greenhouses all just waiting to be discovered. it is the perfect place for any occasion but i would only share it with a loved one be it a parent, sibling, partner, and/or friend because it really is just that special. fellas, take your ladies here i promise she will love you forever (so long as you aren't an asshole)! wave hill is the perfect place for love and a proposal (::cough cough:: ::louder cough cough::). do yourself the favor and enjoy the beauty of nature, it's worth it!  

how far can a smile go?

Like everyone else around me, my social media news feed has been flooded with photos of the late Robin Williams for over 12 hours. Each picture posted came with words expressing the joy that Robin Williams brought to the lives of his fans, quoting their favorite quotes from the legend, and reliving moments in their life that Robin William’s played a part of through his films. With over 5,000 #robinwilliamsrip and over 319,000 #riprobinwilliams post on Instagram, and counting, it is fair to say he was loved by many, respected by all, and will be missed tremendously. So with that much love for one person it came to me as a real shocker that he died of suicide, Robin Williams was battling depression…and it hurts that much more because maybe it could have been prevented.  It hurts to think that with all the love around him he felt lonely, sad, and so much that he could not bear to see another day. However, we only knew what the media showed us, we did not know what was going on behind closed doors, we were not witnessing the battle with drugs…we did not know!

It makes me think about those around me, from family to strangers…everyone has feelings, everyone has a story, everyone is going through something and it is our responsibility as humans to take care of each other. Smile just because a little more, say hello to people you catch eye contact with, ask someone how they are and actually listen. There are so many instances where I’ve said hello to someone at work in passing and I did not even get a smile back, why? There are times where I call a business and say “hello, how are you?” and the response is “who are you looking for?”…it is mind boggling that people either do not know how to reciprocate simple kindness or just do not care to.  Unfortunately, due to social media our generation is forgetting how to have a real relationship and it is sad to think the generation after us might never know how to. So many of us are chatter boxes online, liking every picture with a follow up comment, in the mix of all the twitter debates, but then face to face we do not even say hello or engage in conversation. We get our news and updates on Facebook, hell we can even send gifts via Facebook! We are like nosey neighbors with our family and friends, we know all of their business but not because we asked but because we saw or heard. What would the world be like if we took the time out to talk to people, listen to people, understand people and make them feel like they matter, like you care? I am not suggesting become the town therapist but become a friend, be kind, get to know those around you. Try a random act of kindness, it really is contagious and can make a world of a difference in someone’s day. We have the power to be the reason behind someone saying “Wow, there really are good people in this world!”.  Take a minute to think about someone other than yourself, remember you have no idea what someone is feeling or going through…asking someone “how are you?” and listening might save a life. To think one of the funniest men in the world could not crack a joke to snap himself out of it, or buy something with his millions to make him “feel better”…depression is an illness. No amount of money or fame can cure depression, maybe he needed more than a simple “hello” but a simple “hello” might be the starting point of saving another life. Spread love, be kind!

friendship levels

holy crap, what a whirlwind the past few weeks have been...maybe it's been months i honestly have lost track of time. as you all know i recently lost my grandfather and good lord is that difficult to deal with, i'm still a little numb to it i don't think that i've actually let it sink in that he is gone. or maybe i'm coping decently because of my beyond supportive inner circle, i tell ya you know who your true friends are when shit hits the fan. this tragedy was quite the eye opener and a lesson in life, my dad was right in life you're lucky if you have a handful of true friends. growing up i wanted to have the most friends, loved being most popular, had to be everyone's best friend; while i still love people and really getting to know everyone i meet...why waste my time speaking to someone if i'm not genuinely interested? but i now know there are different levels to this relationship thing!

family: the people that were there for me through good and bad, when times get hard, at my highest point and lowest point without thinking twice, without any hesitation because they simply wouldn't want to be any place in the world but by my side. and this doesn't mean physically, because family isn't always around the corner but there for me around the clock on an emotional level, even though they can't be there to hold my hand i feel them. the people who filled my inbox around the clock regardless of my response rate. i am fortunate enough to have a little more than a handful of these folks in my life and god as my witness i am truly thankful and couldn't have made it without you...you are my strength when i am weak.

friends: the folks that shoot me a text to say hi and check in. the ones i know a lot about and hang out with quite often. those people that even though i may not see  all the time, when we do we pick up right where we left off.  these people continued to send me messages of support even though i was too emotional to respond, they just wanted me to know they were there and understood that i wasn't able to be there. the group of people who sent "thinking of you" messages. my "i got mad love for you homie" peeps.

social media buddies: *disclaimer: this was the category that shocked me the most, there were folks that ended up on this list that i for sure thought were on my friends list. this is the "new age" pal, the one who filled my timeline up with messages and left comments of support. i appreciate these people because for the most part these are people that i have met through social media and we have built a relationship online. it really touched my heart and at times caused me to shed a few tears because i felt the genuine love, support, and sympathy from so many people that are new in my life, some in which i've never even met. but for others, those i have known for years, those who have been in my home, those who have my number who liked a picture instead of sending a text or giving me a call...well i was a little disappointed. but the disappointment lasted a second and it turned into appreciation and acceptance...i accept that this is the relationship we now have and i appreciate you showing love at all.

my intention was not to offend anyone. but chances are if you were offended i was probably just as hurt when i realized you fell into a category lower than i had you at. but it's all good, it's all love. everyone goes through shit, you never know what the next person is dealing with. and i'm sorry if i've been an absent friend the past few months, i've been completely consumed with the family category. big hugs and kisses to everyone. and an enormous thank you for all the love, support, prayers, well wishes and kind words these past few weeks...not one message went unnoticed, each one helped keep my head up a little more.