friendship levels

holy crap, what a whirlwind the past few weeks have been...maybe it's been months i honestly have lost track of time. as you all know i recently lost my grandfather and good lord is that difficult to deal with, i'm still a little numb to it i don't think that i've actually let it sink in that he is gone. or maybe i'm coping decently because of my beyond supportive inner circle, i tell ya you know who your true friends are when shit hits the fan. this tragedy was quite the eye opener and a lesson in life, my dad was right in life you're lucky if you have a handful of true friends. growing up i wanted to have the most friends, loved being most popular, had to be everyone's best friend; while i still love people and really getting to know everyone i meet...why waste my time speaking to someone if i'm not genuinely interested? but i now know there are different levels to this relationship thing!

family: the people that were there for me through good and bad, when times get hard, at my highest point and lowest point without thinking twice, without any hesitation because they simply wouldn't want to be any place in the world but by my side. and this doesn't mean physically, because family isn't always around the corner but there for me around the clock on an emotional level, even though they can't be there to hold my hand i feel them. the people who filled my inbox around the clock regardless of my response rate. i am fortunate enough to have a little more than a handful of these folks in my life and god as my witness i am truly thankful and couldn't have made it without you...you are my strength when i am weak.

friends: the folks that shoot me a text to say hi and check in. the ones i know a lot about and hang out with quite often. those people that even though i may not see  all the time, when we do we pick up right where we left off.  these people continued to send me messages of support even though i was too emotional to respond, they just wanted me to know they were there and understood that i wasn't able to be there. the group of people who sent "thinking of you" messages. my "i got mad love for you homie" peeps.

social media buddies: *disclaimer: this was the category that shocked me the most, there were folks that ended up on this list that i for sure thought were on my friends list. this is the "new age" pal, the one who filled my timeline up with messages and left comments of support. i appreciate these people because for the most part these are people that i have met through social media and we have built a relationship online. it really touched my heart and at times caused me to shed a few tears because i felt the genuine love, support, and sympathy from so many people that are new in my life, some in which i've never even met. but for others, those i have known for years, those who have been in my home, those who have my number who liked a picture instead of sending a text or giving me a call...well i was a little disappointed. but the disappointment lasted a second and it turned into appreciation and acceptance...i accept that this is the relationship we now have and i appreciate you showing love at all.

my intention was not to offend anyone. but chances are if you were offended i was probably just as hurt when i realized you fell into a category lower than i had you at. but it's all good, it's all love. everyone goes through shit, you never know what the next person is dealing with. and i'm sorry if i've been an absent friend the past few months, i've been completely consumed with the family category. big hugs and kisses to everyone. and an enormous thank you for all the love, support, prayers, well wishes and kind words these past few weeks...not one message went unnoticed, each one helped keep my head up a little more.