Postpartum Self Care

I know I have only been a mom for all of 2 minutes (145440 to be exact) but I have some words of wisdom or encouragement for all the other mommas out there: MAKE TIME FOR YOU! Dude, I cannot stress how crucial this is for YOU and your well being. After I gave birth to Kennedy my OB gave me the "Murphy Laws" (his name was Dr. Murphy, get it!): 1. Don't try to figure it out! 2. Ask for help & accept help! 3. Go on dates! (even if it's 15 minutes at a coffee shop) 4. Make time for you!

He really put an emphasis on the fourth law; he said this would be imperative in helping me recover. When he said it I had no clue what he meant but man oh man do I get it now. I have said it a million times the hormones involved in pregnancy and beyond are wacky AF and if you don't take care of yourself you really can go crazy (mental health is so important especially now raising a child). I don’t remember ever hearing much if anything about postpartum life in terms of ME! I heard about taking care of a baby and sleepless nights (which I don’t even experience) but nothing about taking care of me. I wish postpartum self care was at the forefront of more motherhood conversations, it’s so freaking important. I don’t know if it is mom guilt, the fear of outside judgement, or feeling “alone” in our thoughts/feelings; they all make sense but we need to stop. First of all it's OKAY! Pregnancy is no freaking joke; take a second to reflect on what you did...YOU GREW A HUMAN BEING, that is a legit super power! Then, you went through labor regardless if it was a "quick" two hours or a terrifying 38 hours; whether you pushed out a human being vaginally with no drugs or had a scheduled c section with your nails and hair did...you carried and delivered a child...GIRLFRIEND YOU WENT THROUGH SOME ISH! Embrace and own everything that comes after; the tears, the mood swings, the highs the lows, the "what the F am I supposed to do", the "I am a bad ass woman", "I am a goddess", the "I am a effing boss" the "I'm fucking exhausted and am four seconds away from my third meltdown of the week"....OWN IT and TALK IT OUT! 

We have got to take care of ourselves and each other ladies; I really hate how much mom bashing and shaming goes on. Whether it’s postpartum depression or just feeling overwhelmed...it’s okay and it’s okay to take care of yourself! Nobody said it was going to be easy and nobody said you have to be perfect! Use your village, your support system is everything...let people help! Your village not only plays a crucial role in the development of your little one but it helps big time with your recovery; it gives you the opportunity to catch your breath and take a "time out". Taking the time to take care of you does not mean you love your child any less; a few hours of "you" time is not bad parenting...again how can you care for someone else if you're not taking care of yourself.  I love getting my nails done and for no reason other than it's something that makes me feel good, it gives me "me time", and it brings me a sense of "normalcy".  Of course as a mom there are times where I just don't feel up for it but my circle (Jack, mom, sister, besties) will give me that extra push and I have yet to regret one manicure! Outside of me time "us" time is also very important! Before Kennedy there was Jack & Jacqueline and one day our little girl will turn 13 and no longer think her parents are cool and avoid us at all costs (if she's anything like me) and one day she will even move out and it will be back to just the two of us. Now this by no means we EVER EVER stop being her parents, or stop loving her and caring for her, we will never stop doing our part to ensure her growth, happiness, and well being (see that mom guilt almost got me, I started to over explain); it just means that we will also never stop caring for each other as partners and lovers...even if that means Netflix and Chill while grandma babysits for the night. Speaking of grandma babysitting sessions (be it for a night or just a few hours) those are a must for a completely selfless reason...they need alone time to bond! That goes for grandmas, aunties, and anyone who loves our little girl; when we join our friends and family we kiss Kennedy goodbye and let anyone and everyone hold her again not because we don't love her but we want her to experience the love everyone around us wants to shower her with...lucky us we get to go home with her and smother her with all of our love. So embrace your village for your sake, their sake, and the sake of your little one!

Your moment(s) of weakness do not take away from your being a STRONG AF woman and mother! And remember you HAVE to take care of you if you're going to raise a little one; showing them self love and respect is a great life lesson! 

Hello Bump

Days before entering the second trimester my beautiful and amazingly talented friend Nicole pulled out her camera for a little photo session. I was not feeling very pretty (remember I was down for the count) plus I was super bloated (nobody warned me about constipation during pregnancy, holy shit!) but I am so freaking glad we took the time to capture these moments in our home. Below are a few of my favorites, I'll cherish these forever!

First Trimester Survival

Nothing in this world could have prepared me for the insane changes my body was going to undergo during the first few weeks/months of pregnancy. The thought of pregnancy always excited me; the cute baby bump, glowing skin, and the fact that life would be growing inside of me. Boy was I in for a surprise when I found myself glued to the bathroom floor from the moment I woke up until I finally passed out (literally because of dehydration). The doctors diagnosed me with hyperemesis gravidarum which basically means my body is sensitive to all the hormones and in turn I get sick AF; by sick I mean throwing up anything and everything ALL DAY (legit 10 times a day) and since I couldn't hold anything down I would get VERY weak due to the lack of nutrients. They pumped me up with nutrients, gave me some medication (Zofran), and put me on bed rest for an ENTIRE MONTH (the most torturous sentencing for Miss Independent); this episode repeated itself a few times throughout the first trimester. Also, I had NO IDEA that constipation during pregnancy was a thing...holy shit that is a killer! All the plans I had for adorable weekly photos went right out the window at week 5, mind you my pregnancy was confirmed at 4 weeks so those cute pics had a 1 week life span.

I struggled not only physically but emotionally as well. For starters, I felt completely useless; I could not do a thing around the house or for myself. Thank God blessed me with Jack as my partner; he took charge of everything without thinking twice (cleaning, cooking, working, bills, Charlie, hell he even had to bathe me),  he did all of it with such joy and pride, and constantly reminded me that my bed rest state was a much larger task than all the tasks he had..."you're growing our baby, you're Superwoman"! My biggest struggle was "mom guilt" (I didn't really know that was a thing let alone SO damn early in the game)! I felt bad that I had to take medication (you always hear pregnancy and medicine is a NO NO) and despite doctors telling me I HAD to I still felt uneasy; but I guess the doctors know a thing or two because without the medication I was back in the hospital causing harm to me and the baby. Part 2 of the "mom guilt" was the fact that a felt absolutely miserable; for a while I held in the truth when folks asked me how I was because I did not for one second want to seem that I was not beyond excited for this blessing.

All in all the first trimester (actually the first 4 months) was an absolute blur of very slow passing time but I survived (down 11 pounds) but now ready to make up for lost time for the rest of this pregnancy!